Hi there my lovelies - plop yourself down on the picnic spot. I am already down in "dead body pose", and will probably stay there until tomorrow morning. I really feel broken down today, as I described yesterday and the day before (Day 3 and Day 4) here in my blog.
In yoga class I tried to visualize everything breaking down, in order to heal back together stronger. I visualized both breaking the habits of my body and of my mind. I visualized my muscle fibers tearing to heal stronger and more elastic and pliable. I visualized all the cellular debris, metabolic waste and free radicals that were currently gunked up in various places in my body, breaking free and being flushed out with lymphatic fluid. I visualized myself healthy and symptom free.
It was very hard to get myself to the Bikram yoga studio today. I was late, things were delayed, things went wrong, stops were missed in the subway due to spaced out brain... in other words, there were hurdles to jump over. I felt like a circus dog missing the mark all the time. But I finally got my behind to class two hours later than the time I had hoped for, after having come back home again in between...
Getting into to class finally, after jumping all those hoops, I felt I had won a small victory. I didn't stay home and decide not to go - I went to class a second time. I made it.
I could brush my little victory off as if it meant nothing. But NO, I will celebrate that I made it. I had a little victory, and it is an important victory because it was a victory not over another person or persons. It was a little victory over myself! Hurrah for me!! :)
Om Mani Padme Hum. Behold the Jewel in the Lotus of your heart.
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