I had a revelation today when I was talking about my three days of yoga with another mom who had also had her first Bikram yoga experience not too long ago. I told her I was going every day for a reason: I was breaking habits. I said it just like that. Later I realized how true it is.
Most moms are pretty excellent at multi-tasking when it comes to our kids. When my two kiddos were infants I breastfed while dealing with insurance companies on the phone; I brushed my teeth and pumped a bottle of breastmilk for my newborn at the same time; I'd hold the baby with one hand, fold the stroller with the other hand and carry the diaperbag and the shopping bags and pay the bus fare with the third hand; everyday I'd be a mommy, an actor, a maid, an educator, a planner, a wife, a cook etc etc. Nowadays I can supervise homework with two kids, make dinner, prep them for shower and bed, simultaneously, by myself.
When it comes to me, I do one thing at the time. For the last years I have been a student again, and I have as a result been somewhat sedentary compared to my prior more mobile lifestyle. I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable in my own skin, and wanted a change but couldn't make it happen somehow. I was stuck in a one-track existence. By breaking completely, by doing this 180 turn-around, I am finally breaking out of my ill-fitting, sedentary mold. I am breaking my self-inflicted habits.
By breaking habits of the body (by breaking my body, or at least it feels like it right now!!), I am breaking mental habits as well - thinking habits, "being" habits, emotional habits, habitual habits... :) Our bodies house our spiritual and emotional properties. Our bodies house the luminescent spark of the Spirit that lives inside all of us. So it is important to continue to create good habits for our bodies, so we can honor everything that make up you and me.
Today's yoga class was not quite as hard to endure as yesterday's class, but I still had a few moments of feeling lightheaded and nauseous. The heat and the poses can be very challenging. But I made it to class this morning despite my almost daily morning headaches - and as they say: making it to class is the hardest battle.
IT FELT SO GREAT AFTER CLASS TODAY!! On to Day 4... Wooohoooo!
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