Dear, beloved Racist

Hello my dears ~~ no need to pour the wine for me. It's a little early in the day, plus I've been home sick for three days straight, with a sneezy, runny nose and a itchy, sore throat. Best to not indulge quite yet. ;) But I hope you brought some live ladybugs - I love the little critters - and we can start decorating the meadow scene for our picnic spot, right next to the Christmas tree. Hehe... 

I am a little fired up today! My friend, Michelle (who has two beautiful mixed race kids as well), posted an excellent and astute article from a Swedish newspaper on her facebook page this morning. Michelle's been arguing for a long time to not use the derogatory n-word in Sweden, and was instrumental in contacting a record label company in Sweden to try remove the derogatory n-word from a classic, beloved children's song CD (copyrighted 1994) called "Nu ska vi sjunga". 
Here is Kristina Lindquists article in Swedish newspaper 'Expressen' on Jan 6, 2011. It's in Swedish, so for you, dear reader of the English language, I will sum it up: the writer talks about incidents in Sweden during 2011 in which blatant racism was responded to by some people as 'not racism'. The writer calls for Swedes to call it by its right name: racism. Don't use the n-word and then in the same breath say "I didn't mean it in a bad way", or say that it's OK to call someone a 'negro' because it only means 'black' in latin. "Negro is just a color description, nothing else". Huh!!?? Seriously!!!! 

Among other unbelievable things, there was an incident at the University of Lund, where at a party with a "jungle theme", they dressed up as african slaves at an auction complete with blackface and all. Disgusting incidents happen here in the US too, but I think a huge difference between the two countries is that people dare to, and will, make a HUGE STINK about it here in the United States. Things will go viral within hours, people band together in the thousands, raise their voices, demand an apology, demand someone to take responsibility immediately, here. In Sweden one lone black man, my hero if you ask me, was horrified by what he saw that night in Lund and called the police. He was harassed at his workplace with banners plastered all over, reading "Our african slave has run away". According to the above article the Vice-Chancellor of University of Lund said he didn't think anyone had had racist intentions. 

Oh Em Gee!

But that's just it. Everywhere you turn in Sweden, nobody has supposedly any racist intentions, but I hear the most crazy things come out of people's mouths. When millions of people in an uber-standarized, modern, intelligent country in Europe with otherwise great politics in feminism and equality, cannot understand the consequences of using highly derogatory phrases and words, where have you all been the last several decades?? How can you be so thick-skinned that you cannot understand that when you use a bigoted phrase or word to describe someone, it is hurtful? 

There is weird disconnect between a stubbornness to want to keep using old, hurtful phrases, and the hurtful consequences of such usage. There is a disconnect between the individual thinking that "it's my rights" and a feeling of belonging with a larger commune, with each other, a feeling of empathy. There is a "us" and "them". 

Racism lives everywhere. To counter the slave-auction incident in Sweden, there was the self taped video of a UCLA student (March 2011) who went on a rampage against Asians in this little video clip called Asians in the Library. The University spokesperson thought of her actions as "repugnant", and the female student was asked to give a public apology, which she did. The university's Chancellor, Gene Block, said "I believe that a speech that expresses intolerance toward any group of people is indefensible and has no place at UCLA". I am not certain if further actions were taken to reprimand her, but at least she learnt something, hopefully, and will think twice about saying offensive things (or am I too hopeful?). 

I think Sweden could do with a little more individual accountability on the racism front. You should not be able to hide behind such absurdities as: just because I use the n-word it doesn't mean I'm racist. Because, you know what? Guess what? It does! 

Another absurdity I have been hearing for a while is the fight to be able to call a Swedish sweet treat N-balls (I can't even write the whole name out...). Despite repeatedly arguing that it is wrong, it is hurtful, it is racist, it is derogatory, it is bigoted... etc etc, some Swedes still feel they "have the right to call it what I want". Ok, you have the right to call it whatever you want, but then don't tell me you're not a bigot! Don't tell me you don't mean any harm, because HARM is exactly what you do!!! 

But even if you don't understand this at the moment, I still love you - you will understand in time.

We need people in schools and at home that teach our children what's what. We need politicians to grow some balls (or as Betty White allegedly have said: grow a vagina!) so they can take a stand and say that certain behavior is unacceptable. A university Chancellor in Sweden should grow some/a ____ (left intentionally blank, you can fill in your own genital preference) and take a stand and say to the student body: this behavior is absolutely unacceptable. 

My dear and beloved grandmother - may her soul rest in peace - used to say infuratingly racist remarks. Not about me. She loved me. She adored me. I will love her forever and always. I used to tell her that when she makes comments about other people of color, she inadvertently ropes me in. I am hurt because I am a person of color. I cannot listen to someone badmouthing one group of people without taking offense, and feeling hurt, because I am that person... because I am you... 

I forgive her. I love her. 

But you know what, the hurt still lingers...