Are you an axe murderer or just a dude with a really bad photo?

Hello there - come on over and make yourself comfortable on this lovely spot. There is a nice and refreshing breeze today. Can you feel it?

If you happen to be an axe murderer, please don't be offended but my friends will frisk you and confiscate any and all axes they might find in your possession. And you might have to sit on your own blanket... I don't mean to discriminate, but I want to live for my children... you understand.

A few days ago my agent sends me a casting notice for a "major dating site" which is seeking single women and men in my general age range, who are willing to go out on a date courtesy of the dating site. They will do your hair and make-up and wardrobe, and then send you on your way with a film crew. The date will be filmed to be used as promotion for the site. And they'll pay you for the job of course. 

So, let me recap: free date with hunk, everything paid, hair/make-up/wardrobe done by professionals, payment for gig. Sounds pretty sweet!

I wrote my agent back saying "Drats, I am single, but unfortunately I can't go to the audition. Boohooo!" But later on that evening I became curiouser and curiouser about this wonderland of dating sites. I have never registered for any dating sites before, and never thought I would. I have friends that have used those kinds of sites and have been successful as well. And I am genuinely glad for their sake and I respect them, but I never thought I would try those sites. But alas, Curiosity got the better of me (I also hear Curiosity killed the Cat!) - and jetlag too - and around 2am that night I registered with not one, not two, but three "free" dating sites. (Free meaning you can register and start a profile, but you can't view anything or anyone until you pay their fee.) Nervously I uploaded a photo of myself and entered the requested information and clicked 'agree'.

Then I waited.... 

The next morning I was finally "matched" up with several guys, and viewed profile after profile. I was absolutely aghast by who I was matched up with (on the one site that allows you to view your match's profile photo without paying).

How many times have we been told to not judge a book by its covers...? 

Well, with that said I would like to give you a tip: please upload a photo were you do not look like an axe murderer. Initially I pretty much have nothing else to go on but your photo. When I see a photo of you looking like an axe murderer there's not much else I can do or will do except RUN! Sweet Mother of Mercy, call me shallow, but your photo is important. It might help you if you smile, or at least look pleasantly content, agreeable or even friendly. Seriously! Did you think: "Here, let me choose THIS photo where I look like an axe murderer. That'll get me results!"? I'm not trying to be judgemental or anything, but actually the nature of those sites leave you with no other option. ESPECIALLY IF YOUR PHOTO LOOKS LIKE AN AXE MURDERER'S!!


I deleted my profile so fast!! Then I deleted my other two profiles on the other sites as well.

My foray into dating sites has been brief but my curiosity quenched for life. I didn't want to be the Cat (that Curiosity got the better of) in this one. Meow.

Thanks for popping by. I still love you all, but might love you just a little less if you are an axe murderer... Oh, and on your way out, please don't expect us to give you the axe back, OK!